Goodbyes

Last week I had to say goodbye to a very dear friend who moved 5 hours away. I met Andi 4 months after moving here at a home bible study. Saben was 9 months old and Audrey was just a tiny 3 month old. I didn't have a single mom friend in Bellingham and we walked into this warm bright house and met the most wonderful people - many of whom had kids close to Saben's age.

I will never forget that night, even though over half the people we met there have moved away. It was the friendliest, most interesting and warm group I have EVER met, and after months of worrying if I would ever find anyone I felt connected with in Bellingham, God brought all these amazing people into my life.

Andi was one of my first real "Mom friends", the kind I always dreamed of meeting once I became a stay at home mom. One who had kids the same age who would help ease the lonliness of being home alone all day.


Andi was all that and more, not only was she lots of fun to hang out with, she brought a wonderful perspective on motherhood. It was so inspiring to see the joy and passion she had for being a mom. I really admire her love of small beauties, her creativity around the home, her complete devotion to Audrey and the way she treasures and makes every moment of motherhood special.





After working in an office for years, getting used to being a full time mom was often hard for me but in some small way Andi helped me ease through it and learn to appreciate it more.

Of course being pregnant together was the most fun of all, we were practically pregnancy twins because both of us had c-sections and big babies the first time around. We also had the same doctor, had to decide on a VBAC vs. C-section this time and once we even got bitten by a bug on the exact same place behind our left ears.


Once we both had new infants, it was not quite as fun since we were both "trapped" in our homes, but we've managed to keep up via email, blog and infrequent visits.




It would have been hilarious to see Audrey & Saben grow up together because they are often nemeses. I think Saben is the only person Audrey has ever bitten and lately she was starting to physically push him around when she got mad. However, Saben is no innocent, last week Audrey pushed him and got in trouble and so he marched right up in her face, obviously trying to get her to push him again so she'd get in trouble. But they also had a lot of fun together and loved playing at eachothers houses.



Some of my favorite memories are of blueberry picking, going to the Everett Children's museum together, babysitting co-op, the valentine's day "party" Andi hosted for us, Andi hosting my 30th birthday while 6 months preganant and watching Audrey chase saben around the house trying get his ball and him screaming the entire time, even though he is much bigger than her. (that last one was at the Bates going away party) And of course the day Saben observed that Audrey has a tunnel instead of a pee pee.

So goodbye to our friends, we will always treasure your memory and can not wait to see you again.

sleep no sleep

Ok, I started this post DAYS ago, and every day it seems to change so I update it and then don't quite get around to posting it. Plus I read it and it is very boring so I try to make it more interesting...but who am I kidding, no one is going to find Annika's sleep problems/patterns interesting except me.

But when you are in the thick of infant sleep troubles, nothing is more important than how & when they sleep. You are obsessed.

So, I am going to go ahead and post it because it is funny and a good reminder of how crazy it is to have a newborn. And I will try really really hard to not go over every single detail of her sleep schedule every time I talk to you, but....no promises. : )

The good news: Annika slept 6-7 hours in a row the last 3 nights.
The bad news: I often can not get her to nap during the day for more than 45 minutes

Yesterday I put her down for "naps" about 12 times and she always woke up 10 minutes later until about 5pm when she finally slept for 4 hours.

Still, I know we have it pretty good since she doesn't fuss much as long as she is being held. There's always a way to calm her down as long as I don't mind her nursing 4 hours in a row or holding her constantly. Mostly she's just unpredictable, napping 3 hours one day and then not at all the next day. Generally she falls asleep for about 10 minutes and then wakes up again and she will do this 10 times in a row before I actually get her to sleep for any length of time.

I don't know how people with "colicky" babies do it, I am grumpy and exhausted from only getting 6 hours of sleep, I can't imagine less than that.

In other news, I managed to get mastitis Monday and it is very very awful. Luckily I got antibiotics and felt a lot better the next day.

Roxxy

My dog. Sigh.

She is so clever that she can tell when tomatoes are ripe. And then she picks them and eats them. Only knocking off 2-3 green tomatoes in the process. But she doesn't eat the green ones, just leaves them as evidence of her shenanigans.

Did I mention she also DUG UP all my carrotts, ate them and then puked them up in our yard?

She is adorable.

Good days & bad days

Its amazing how Wednesday can be completely awesome and I think to myself "I think I'm getting the hang of this two kid thing". We completed our first grocery shopping trip with all three of us, I got a ton done and made an awesome supper, Saben played happily all day, I had the energy to give him the attention he needed and Annika took a couple nice long naps.

Then this morning fell apart aproximately 3 minutes after I got out of bed. Saben whined & cried all day, the house was a mess when Kyle got home, I had a headache and was an emotional basket case, Roxxy made a mess of the yard (more on that later) and I didn't even have to make dinner but still got nothing done.

We seem to be on an every other day schedule, so hopefully tomorrow will be awesome!!!

Four weeks old

halfway through taking all these pics, a giant slug crawled out from under the blanket by Annika's feet. YUCK

Travel

Saben & Annika w/ Great Grandma

So last Wednesday, three weeks from Annika's birth, I packed up my two kids and we headed to Colorado with my family while Kyle took a business trip to Salt Lake City. My Dad's entire family (5 siblings and their families - 16 people) got together for the first time in a long while to celebrate my grandmother's birthday.

Originally, back in November, the trip was planned the weekend of Annika's due date. I made up some crazy story as to why I couldn't go and then called my parents and lied my head off so that we could wait till Christmas to tell them we were pregnant. As soon as I hung up I felt so awful, so I called back & let them know what was really going on. They managed to get the trip postponed 3 weeks so they would get to go and not miss Annika's birth.

I decided to go with Annika about a week before the trip when I found out Kyle would be gone that weekend. Saben was already going with my parents so the choice was a quiet weekend at home w/ just two of us or getting to go see family that I hadn't seen in years. Feeling adventurous, I chose the latter.

I can't say I would recommend travelling with a 3 week old unless it is very very important. We did have fun & I don't regret getting to see everybody, but there were some things (like lots of stairs at the condos, people/things to do far apart from each other, 2 hour drive from the airport to Breckenridge, heavy diaper bags, high altitude, moving in a large group, having to nurse so many hours out of the day) that made the trip pretty exhausting.

Luckily the family was extremely helpful - My parents, brother & sister-in-law completely took care of/spoiled Saben. Betsy & my mom seemed to read my mind most of the time and were always there to carry something for me, throw out a diaper or hold Annika when I needed it most. And of course all my Aunts & Uncles helped hold Annika which was a huge relief because she is going through a "Must be held at all times" stage.

Amazingly, the plane ride & car rides went off pretty smoothly. No puke and Annika slept through the majority of it. I might have more pics later, I stopped taking them after the first night because I had my hands full and the family was already taking plenty.

Highlights:

BBQ competition - lots of really yummy food

Getting to see my uncle Rich & cousin Jenny for the first time in over 10 years

Stopping to see old steam trains with Saben on the way home

Saben learning everyone's names & finally warming up to them - on the last night.

Shopping, pizza & Saben in the bouncy castle in Breckenridge

Saben getting to see his first lightening

Breakfast at a restaurant w/ both kids at another table

Week 2

Big brother with his new hobby - watching videos of trains on YouTube. No, not Thomas, just trains going down the tracks. As much as he loves it, you can't help but wonder - who films this stuff? And then thinks "oh, I should put that exhilerating 6 minute train footage up on YouTube!"

Annika & Saben

From the get go, Saben has acted unimpressed with his new baby sister. He immediately was able to say/learn her name, which was cute, but today he asked when Annika was going to go home. I asked him "Where is Annika's home?" and he says "At the hospital". Poor kid, he has no idea....

A couple days after being home we were finally able to get him to "hold" her for the first time, but it definitely was not his idea and we sort of forced him into it.

The first time he seemed sort of interested in her was when she had her eyes open and turned his direction. "Annika's looking at you Saben" I said. And his eyes lit up and he actually came over to see her. Then I convinced him to let her hold his hand and he liked that as well.

This week we've progressed to stroking her head and Saben likes to tell people "Annika's head is soft". He does seem to be warming up to her slowly but surely, he even asked to hold her this morning!

Saben has also been quite the miscreant lately. When the grandmas are around he's pretty good, but I swear they walk out the door and he instantly falls apart. It's especially hard because I can't force him to do anything or even put him in time out because of my c-section. He now yells "NO!!" to things he used to do without complaint and screaming fits at my creative punishments (putting away his train set) are quite common.

He's been driving kyle crazy especially, I think it might be a bit hard to have an injured/emotional wife, a newborn and a screaming toddler to deal with all at the same time.

But... things are actually getting a lot better, we had a really good day today - our first without any help whatsoever! I went to bed nice and early, we stayed home all day and I got creative by singing nursery rhymes & reading books with Saben while nursing.

Hopeful

EVERY day I click on the Bellingham Herald link, hoping for a "Trader Joes Announces Opening!" story and instead all I find is a story on how to find black tailed deer locally. Try looking by the side of the road?

Belly

I was amusing myself the other day by imagning myself proudly posting pictures week by week of my just barely, very very slowly returning to "normal" post pregnancy body - just like everyone does with their growing belly.

Very modern/feminist of me, yes? I am not saying it'd be pretty, just sort of humorous. And also kind of like that one website Shape of a Mother I mentioned last year. Even as an "old pro" (not quite), there is nothing so shocking as looking in the mirror for the first time after giving birth.

Don't worry, if I can't manage to take weekly pics of my growing belly, I'm certainly not going to pull it off with my shrinking one either.

Annika's Birth Story

July 17th
By tuesday morning it was pretty obvious that I was going to have a scheduled c-section the next morning whether I wanted to or not. I was having a really hard time seeing past my dread of the c-section itself to the excitement of meeting our baby. I actually can't pinpoint my emotions, but I was nervous, near tears and needed something to distract.

I thought of the final things left on my "to do before baby" list and called up Vale to help me go pick blueberries. I called ahead to make sure the bushes were well loaded so that it wouldn't take to long or be too hard, but I forgot to ask how tall the bushes were. We arrived and found out that though they had plenty of berries, the bushes were only knee high. Sigh.

Berries frozen, blueberry coffee cake made (we ate almost an entire pan later that evening), final meal of steaks grilled, and our last day as a three person family was drawing to a close. After I (tearfully once again) sang Saben to sleep, we watched some Simpsons and miraculously I felt completely at ease for the first time all day. I fell asleep almost immediately without once worrying about the next day. (ok, maybe just once)

July 18th
4:30 am I wake up to use the washroom, yet again, and suddenly I am wide awake. Really really wide awake, thinking about what's going to happen in a few hours. After admitting to God that I am sort of freaked out about being cut open again, I start thinking about the baby and suddenly I am completely euphoric and excited. "I'm having a baby! Today! In just a few hours!" She is kicking me and it is hard to imagine that I will soon get to see her sweet face and that she will be jerked out of her warm happy world.

I fall back asleep finally an hour or so later and the big day arrives. Wanting to take full advantage of the benefits that a planned birth allow, I woke up early to put on makeup and straighten my hair so I'd look awesome for all the pictures to be taken later with the baby. : )

My parents arrive to watch Saben and we hurry out the door a few minutes late.

At the hospital I am nervous, but not terribly so. Now here's something I certainly don't remember from my first childbirth - how much the dang IV hurts when they insert it. I had no clue it was coming and it just kept hurting and hurting.... I survived until five minutes later when suddenly I got extremely light headed & my blood pressure dropped. My wonderful nurse kept assuring me that the IV was the worst part of the whole morning and she ended up being right.

My nurse Krista talked a mile a minute. This was a God send for me because I love being distracted when icky things are happening. When Saben was born, I spent the entire c-section calculating exactly what Kyle & I had been doing one year prior on our trip to Egypt. (laying on the beach in Sharmel Sheikh) We went into the operating room which was possibly the 2nd most terrifying part of the morning. Something about the table, bright lights, lots of blue sheets, and it was FREEZING.

I buried my head in the nurses chest and survived my spinal block. Then I found out that not only was my nurse chatty, she also loved gardening. So we chatted about her favorite roses while they got me ready for surgery.

Kyle came in, my doctor arrived and I laid there waiting for it to start, talking with Kyle the whole time. He peeked over the bluesheet and to my relief, told me that they had actually started quite some time ago. Euphoria flooded over me because everything I was nervous about was over and I was about to have a baby! Or maybe the anesthetician gave me a hit of something because I was loving every single person in the whole room.

A small tug and suddenly one of the nurses squawked. Oh wait, no, that was my daughter! The happiness I had always hoped for washed over me and Kyle looked over the sheet again to watch our daughter being born, head out, screaming her head off as they pushed on my upper abdomen to get the rest of her out.

The next five (It felt more like twenty) minutes were excruciating because I didn't get a single glimpse of her before they whisked her off to the cleaning table. Luckily I could hear her (quite loudly) the whole time and the first I saw of her was actually on the camera from a picture Kyle took of her getting cleaned up. (the one I posted previously actually)

FINALLY, they brought her over and I was able to snuggle and sort of hold her next to my head. Then off she went again with Kyle & the nurse for supposedly "5-10 minutes" while the doctor finished sealing me up. That was probably the loneliest part because no one in the room talked to me at all. Sort of weird, but hey, it can't all be perfect right? I swear it took at least 15 minutes and finally we were back in our room and I got to hold and nurse Annika for the first time.

After 1 1/2 hours of "recovery", Saben got to come in with Kyle to meet his sister. Its a little hazy, but pretty much his whole attitude about her from the get go has been "uh huh. That is a baby, just like you said mom. Can I go play now?" Grandparents came in shortly after and visited for about 30 minutes. Saben got his railroad crossing sign and his eyes lit up much more than they had for his new sister.

Our pastor came next and its funny to call him that because I've felt so "churchless" since we've moved here, drifting from one place to another. It was so nice to finally feel like we actually had "our pastor".

In the evening we were flooded with visitors. My brother & sister-in-law drove all the way up from Seattle, which was the nicest thing ever. Kevin, Cam & Mike all showed up from transition bikes and Kevin amused us with his caricatures of the other guys, done on Saben's magnadoodle.

Thursday evening, 48hours from our final steak meal, I was finally allowed solid food again. By Thursday lunch I was starting to turn into a basket case because I was so hungry. As much as I am madly in love with St. Joseph's ice machine and cranberry juice, woman can not live on fabulously crunchy ice alone.

The days in the hospital whizzed by and I so appreciated everyone who came to visit us and keep me company. Kyle left on Friday for several hours to meet his other "baby" for the first time - the brand new women's bike, fresh in from Taiwan. Its right there in the midst of al our other baby pictures and makes me chuckle each time I see it.

The best thing about this childbirth is that I was so much more relaxed and happy. I had a really hard time with Saben - I think it was actually the magnesium they put me on for my pre-eclampsia, combined with the shock of everything and it basically had me comatose emotionally for about 3 days. So I am so thankful that I got to experience all the excitement, euphoria and happiness this time around.

Ok, by now I am sure I've lost most readers, but it completely amazes me how much I've forgotten about Saben's birth and my pregnancy, so I've really tried to recreate it all for myself to read later. .

Annika Noelle

born July 18th, 10:34 am

9lbs 4oz, 22 1/2 inches

Yummm!!!

Saben shocked mama by drawing his first "face" the night before Annika was born

Men, listen up....

What NOT to say to your nervous squeamish wife the morning before her scheduled C-section.

"My friend watched his sister get a cesarian and said it almost made him puke because her guts fell out of her belly"

I post this because the only way I can fight the insanity of such a mental picture is to try to laugh.

Waiting...

How we've been passing the time:

• 2 hour meals of fresh caught dungeness crab in the cool evening air on our back patio. (speaking of which, I killed my first non-insect creature today! Quite a long way for an ex-vegetarian to come...)


• Watching Saben poke ants with sticks while we enjoy our crab. Who ever thought a child of mine would take such delight in killing things. Then again, I did kill a crab today...four of them in fact. And yes, we would have eaten all four if it weren't for my tiny baby squished tummy. But leftover crab for tomorrow is divine as well.


• Picnic dinners at the lake, me swimming in my giant tent suit but feeling so wonderful to be weightless and cool.


• Lounging in the kiddie pool with Saben in the backyard, squished into my bikini because even the tent suit felt too hot, praying nobody unannounced showed up.


• A fun trip to Lummi Island where we lounged on the beach, had fish and chips and had to run for our ferry.
  
• Reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert and spending way too much time daydreaming about someday spending a summer eating my way through Italy.
  
• Trying really hard not to get depressed when my 5 minutes apart Braxton Hicks don't go anywhere.
  
• Finally getting some wonderful pregnancy pictures taken by Vale. (see below)

Surprises

6 days till C-day. I realized today that I have passed the point where I would definitely consider a VBAC. If I went into labor tomorrow it would be one week early which is exactly when I had Saben and he was big enough to sort of freak me out.

I also realized today, as I started to imagine not going into labor at all but just showing up for my appointment next Wednesday, that going into labor is the one thing I had really hoped to do. Even if I ended up choosing a c-section once I went into labor, there is something about the unpredictability, surprise and excitement of spontaneous labor that I love, getting to call Kyle and tell him, feeling those initial contractions, heading off for the hospital....And something about just showing up to get cut open that really freaks me out.

Obviously there are still 6 days for labor to happen, but I think I had been positive it would happen because Saben was so early. Of course I also assumed Saben would be late and was quite wrong, so it would make sense that if I assume she's going to be early that she won't be.

Funny thing is that all this was sort of depressing me today and now that I wrote it all down I think it might be ok after all. There might be something special about going to bed knowing that you will meet your baby bright and early the next morning. Just getting used to the idea I suppose.

For some reason writing feels completely beyond me right now, everytime I read what I wrote it barely makes sense and is all cluttered and messy so I rewrite it and its just as bad. But I really want to save all these thoughts, so here they are...

One last thing to say, I am so extremely grateful right now that I tolerate heat so well. I always sort of thought I was meant to live in a desert climate (like say Egypt or Africa, NOT arizona) because ever since my first mission trip to Mexico I've realized the heat doesn't bug me like it does a lot of people. (for some reason I was the only one who volunteered to help roof the house we were building in 90 degree heat)

Now take away my food and that is an entirely different story. We all have our weaknesses, right?

Oh wait, scratch that, it is now 94, up two degrees in the last 15 minutes. Which is the hottest temp in Puget Sound right now and ties the ALL TIME hottest temperature in Bellingham. And its only 1pm.

It is 92 degrees in Bellingham and I am 38 1/2 weeks pregnant.

Father's Day

A bit late (can you see I'm playing catch-up here?) but I wanted to put in a plug for the Lake Whatcom Railway which we went on for Father's day. The train itself only goes about 10 mph so it might bore older kids, but it was pure heaven for a train obsessed 2 yr old.

We actually got lost on the way out there and came really really close to missing the train when we arrived 15 minutes late. (Silver lining - I called Miss Crafty Mama to see if she could look up a map for us and became one of the first to find out she was in labor and at the hospital) So give yourself lots of time and remember that there are no signs for anything out there.

After a 30 minute ride & 15 minutes of manuevering to get the train "turned" around, they stop at a park and you can explore the train, tracks, ride a hand car, etc. The staff is so nice & friendly and obviously love what they are doing. Then its 30 minutes back, for a nice 1 1/2 - 2 hour excursion.

Saben LOVED walking on the train tracks

Leaving was just a bit traumatic

Berries

My VERY favorite thing lately has been picking strawberries with Saben in our yard. He asks to go do it almost everyday.

We also went to pick some at a local farm last week and that was really fun because we went with a boy Saben's age. They were so cute running around and exploring. We had one little scare where they disappeared, but pregnant momma sprinted across the strawberry fields and found them playing on the toy train at the farm.

Saben is just reaching the age where he interacts and talks with other kids his age and I looooove watching him & listening to them talk. It is the cutest thing in the world.

Speaking of energy levels being cut in half, this week I can not even imagine how I managed to pick strawberries and make a batch of jam last week.

2 weeks left

Well we made it through the full moon, but I did have a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions Saturday night. I don't remember having this many with Saben, so it sort of freaked me out. I told Kyle the next morning I figured I had a 50/50 chance of going into labor Saturday night. Notice I told him "the next morning". Am I a sweet wife or what? No sense keeping him up all night with me.

I don't remember being this exhausted with Saben either. With him it just seemed that I was cruising along and all of a sudden the baby was here (a week early). This time it seems my energy level gets cut in half every week and the last 4 weeks are significantly different/harder than the rest of my pregnancy.

I've had a few nights of awful insomnia and that really wipes me out. Its not that I'm uncomfortable, I just can't sleep. Then every afternoon I'm ready to pass out from tiredness, but by 10:30 pm I'm sort of wide awake again. yuck.

The other day Saben was asking for a railroad crossing and I said something like "maybe when your sister comes you will get one". Somehow I thought it would appease him and he'd forget about it. Ha! Saben's new favorite sentence is:

"Baby come out of mommy's tummy and bring Saben a railroad crossing. AND LIGHTS!"

So the search is on, the store we went to yesterday didn't have any, but we will continue to look.

Latest

Well it seems little sister Young isn't so little after all. We had out ultrasound today and the measurements put her at 8lbs - today, with 3 weeks left till my scheduled c-section. That puts her around 8.75 - 9.5 pounds in 3 weeks. So an 85% percentile baby doesn't really get my hopes too high for a VBAC unless I go into labor in the next 5 days.

Plus the doctor is keeping a really close eye on the pre-eclampsia thing, my tests were clear last week, but he ordered more labs today just in case and a non-stress test at the hospital tomorrow to see how she is doing.

I am super appreciative that he's taking it so seriously. At this point, if any symptoms started pointing even slightly towards pre-eclampsia, it sounds like they would do a c-section almost immediately. He actually seemed doubtful today that I would make it to the 18th, so that was interesting. I think its because Saben was a week early.

Anyways, there's the update and now I'm running off to Seattle to take Saben to the aquarium and see some long lost friends.

Moons

Last night as I was looking at the moon, I remembered that Saben came on a full moon a week before he was due. True, I was induced, but I originally went to the hospital because I had leaked a bunch of fluid Friday morning, which was the full moon day.

I had always heard lots of babies are born on full moons, and my good friend who was due a week before me went into labor the exact same day. On the other hand, the maternity ward was nearly empty when we were there.

Stil.... watch out this weekend, June 30th is a full moon and who knows what will happen.

David & Goliath

Once upon a time there was a little boy named David who liked to watch sheep. One day there was a big bully who was mean to David and his brothers. Everyone was scared for him except David. He wasn't scared because he knew God would protect him. David volunteered to fight with the bully and the king was happy. David went to fight the mean bully, and God helped him throw a rock at his head and knock him down.
The End

Kari's paraphrase from Saben's book "Peek a Bible"

Baby Confusion

Saben sitting on the couch by himself saying "The baby is kicking in my tummy. Right there! There it is, kicking in my tummy....There's the foot!"

Saben points to his or my belly button "Baby is right there!"

Mommy just read a story about baby Jesus being born and asks "Saben, do you know who Jesus is?" Saben points to lower chest and says "He's right there"
Mommy gasps, so impressed that somehow her son knows Jesus lives in our hearts. She tells Daddy at dinner and Daddy gets Saben to do it again except this time he points more towards his tummy. Suddenly it dawns on her that they had been reading about BABY Jesus and he thinks he has baby jesus in his tummy.

Mommy to Daddy "How about Savannah for a name?"
Saben "No! How about Saben."
Repeat every time one of us suggests a name.

Mommy "Mommy is going to get lots of clothes and presents for your baby sister today Saben"
Saben "No, presents for my pee pee"

One year

I can't believe it, I missed my one year blogging anniversary two weeks ago. Happy anniversary to me....!

As proud as I am when Saben learns something new, I'm afraid I might have to stop writing about it on my blog because it seems to trigger him immediately forgetting his new skills.

Example 1
After talking about how well Saben was doing in his big boy bed, the VERY NEXT nap he took, he was sneaking out of bed playing with toys for over an hour.

Example 2
Saben has been so helpful and eager to please lately...until I wrote my post about him picking things up off the floor for me. Suddenly he has this new "game" where he pretends to have no idea how to do things. We go to do puzzles and he acts like he has no idea where the piece goes even though I've seen him do the entire puzzle in 1 minute flat. He can't seem to remember where we keep our measuring cups when he helps me unload the dishwasher even though he's put them away since he was just 18 months old. I haven't even had the baby yet, how can he be relapsing this early!!! And he's just been a pill all week long again, although I'm no saint either with only 5 weeks of pregnancy left.

The last 4 days I have been swelling a bit more, still nothing compared to last time, but its worrying. Mostly I just have no idea when I swelled last time, so I'm trying to note it here so I have a record of it.

Lastly, can I whine for a moment about how much I hate June? I think I've decided to declare it my least favorite month of the year. May always gets me all excited for summer and June is always such a let down. I think I've hated it since I was kid, I have such strong memories of it being cloudly & rainy the second we got out of school. Yuck.

My little angel just woke up and told me "I pooped" so I better run.

Irony

Sometimes I am not sure if anything on earth is more ironic than pregnancy.
For example:

1. You are exhausted constantly but have to avoid caffeine.
2. Your body aches and you can't use a hot tub or take a hot bath.
3. You get exceptionally clumsy at exactly the same point where your body is so heavy that picking up dropped/spilled items is agony.
4. You are emotional, exhausted, high strung, etc, and really could use a nice glass of wine to unwind a little in the evening, but you can't have any.

5. You need all the sleep you can get, but you're too uncomfortable to sleep very well.

I'm sure there's more, any moms out there want to help? (Just for the record so that when some of us start contemplating "just one more" we remember how crazy it can get. And if the on 2nd time around things like these got old a lot faster, I can only imagine how I'd be feeling by round 3)

Bossy

There is possibly nothing better than being 34 weeks pregnant and realizing your son has finally reached a point where

a. He rarely needs to be carried anywhere and will actually go where you tell him to go

and even better...

b. He understands and will enthusiastically obey when you ask him to grab things for you that you dropped, forgot in another rooms, are too lazy to get yourself, etc.

Eating

I love food when I am pregnant. I actually always love food, but during pregnancy it tastes amazing and is so much more satisfying. I could never remember what I craved with Saben, except for Chicken McNuggets. Thankfully that craving is gone this time and I decided what I really crave all the time is fruit. It started with the limeade every night, then progressed to eating pounds of strawberries dipped in sugar in the evenings. Now its blueberries & nectarines. Saben & I have eaten 2 pounds of blueberries in less than 2 weeks. Thank goodness they are on sale this week at Haggen!

This pregnancy I am also able to eat a lot more veggies and am less picky in general. Even salmon tastes delicious, which I avoided last time. The only bad habit that carried over into this pregnancy is that if I eat anything sweet in the evening, I immediately want some salty popcorn. Really, I think pregnancy just increases my natural food tendencies because I love salty & sweet together. But lately its been almost unbearable to not go make a bag of popcorn to go with my icecream.

Lastly, a little plug for my new love, these delicious Raspberry Sorbet & Vanilla Frozen Yogurt Haagen Dazs bars. mmmmmm......

Favorite photo ever

Playing in the meadow during our trip to Portland

Baby Sister

Family at Ski to Sea

Ladybugs in the garden

Visiting Daddy at the shop

Sleeping

Its been almost two weeks since Saben started sleeping in his new twin bed. At first he
HATED it - no wait, at first he LOVED jumping on it, but when we suggested sleeping it, he changed his mind. We moved his blankets & teddies (bears, not lingerie) to the bed and he immediately shouted "no! Back in crib!" and threw them back where they belonged. The few nights we put him the bed, he just cried pathetically and kept saying "crib, crib, crib....".

It was so sad, and we figured this was going to be a lot harder than we expected and decided to wait a couple weeks till we were really ready to tackle the problem. Finally, on a Sunday, it was time and I decided he would sleep in the bed even if it took us 2 hours to keep him there. But all it took was both of us laying & playing in the bed with him for a while, then bit by bit, getting farther away until finally we shut the door. (we'd done this one night before, but every time I disappeared, he woke up crying. After an hour, we gave up.) By the second night it only took about 30 minutes and by night three it was a piece of cake. Who knew? After a week, I started putting him there to nap too, no problem.

In the mornings he got out of bed and liked to yell "I wake up!". This week he woke up at 6:30am which is extremely early for him and so I put him in his crib with puzzles until we were ready to get up. Ever since then he has quit announcing "I wake up!" and just sort of sneaks out and starts playing with his toys. Usually I wake up to the sound of his box of trains being dumped out. He's still waking a little earlier - 7:45 instead of 8:30, but I can handle anything after 7:30.

Trains

Did I mention Saben is a fanatic about trains? He is completely obsessed. We read his three train books twice each day and every morning the first thing he does is drag out his wooden train set and start putting the tracks back together. And he talks about them constantly. We went and saw a bunch of airplanes yesterday (heritage flight museum), including ones that were taking off, starting up, making all sorts of exciting noises & flying by low overead and he was only mildly impressed. When we left, he suggested "Go downtown and look for trains".

Does anyone else STILL refer to "The Bon" instead of saying Macy's? Is there any hope that I will someday get the name right?

Saben - 25 1/2 months

Things Saben will eat:
Raw Garlic
Chili Pepper Flakes (the kind you put on pizza)
Black pepper (straight out of the shaker)
Mustard
Plain Yogurt w/ Granola
Soy Sauce w/ Wasabi (he dipped a spoon in the spicy stuff I'd mixed for my sushi and said "mmmm!". Then he did it several more times so its no fluke)

Things Saben will NOT even try:
Macaroni & cheese
Rice
Chicken that's not breaded
Eggs
Oatmeal
You get the idea I think.....

Saben Loves
Trains, train tracks, railroad crossings. He has this whole spiel "I hear a train! Train coming! Down the tracks, clickety clack." and he'll repeat it several times if he actually hears a train whistle but will also start saying it at very random times. Tonite he was saying it loudly and quickly as if trying to impress a couple girls we were visiting.


Balls, especially basket balls. We went to the park the other day and instead of playing on the swings & slides he spent the entire time on the basketball court. He would squat down with his little foam soccer ball and then spring up towards the hoops and use the (imaginary) momentum to get the ball about 2 feet up in the air above his head. It was so cute and he ran all over the court chasing the ball. Saben also just got a used basket ball hoop from our neighbors and he loves it.

Keys - he seemed to outgrow this last fall, but it is back and worse than ever because now he can say things like "Saben Drive". And he gets really freaky about having to have them whenever he wants them so its really a pain.

Playdough
Sleeping with balls in his bed
Making granola and cookies with mommy
Puzzles
Children's Museum
Grandparents, relatives & adult friends

Saben Doesn't Like:
Wearing shoes - he'd rather go barefoot, even out in the yard and at parks

His big boy bed - we put it in his room to see what he thought. He thought "no way" so now we are getting ready (i.e. procastinating) to do whatever it takes to get him sleeping in it before baby sister comes along.

Putting toys away - mostly just his favorite ones, like the train tracks, he FREAKS out when we put them away as if somehow they are going to be gone forever. He actually does fine putting some stuff away, but playdough, train tracks - watch out.

The last couple weeks Saben has definitely been pushing us as far as discipline goes. He's taken temper tantrums to new volumes and is constantly testing his boundaries. Sometimes it seems like I say no 10 times in just a few minutes and do time outs constantly. Miraculously this last Tuesday was one of our worst days ever, but slowly he's gotten a lot better every day since then. I'd like to think the discipline thing is finally working, but maybe he's just been in a better mood.

I think the hardest part for me is making the rules and deciding which ones you really want to try and enforce. Because sometimes you say no out of laziness and realize your mistake once he's sobbing and then other times you say yes and realize your mistake when he then expects to be able to use at least 6 spoons at every meal.

Finally, a fun story - the other day Saben was watching his friend Audrey getting her diaper changed and observed that she has a tunnel instead of a pee pee. Why teach your kids real anatomy when its so entertaining to see what they come up with themselves??

Pregnancy

Just 9 more weeks to go and I am definitely starting to feel the 3rd trimester tiredness. I was ridiculously energetic during the 2nd trimester and often over exerted myself doing things like spreading compost & planting shrubs in the yard. By evening I'd be a puddle of pudding. But I'm starting to wind down now and feel like napping rather than weeding most afternoons. Unfortunately I still have about 2 yards of compost to spread, I want to install a drip irrigation system AND Kyle broke his hand a couple weeks ago so he's no good to me anymore. : )

The good news with this pregnancy is that I have had hardly any signs of pre-eclampsia. I don't quite remember when they hit with Saben, but it seems to me that I started having some warning signs at least a few months in advance. I am finally getting hopeful that I won't have the problems I had last time but the doctor did still send a blood pressure cuff home with me so that I can keep an eye on things as the due date nears. (last time my blood pressure sky rocketed from normal to dangerous levels in about 4 days and complications kept us in the hospital for 5 days after Saben was born)

The scary part about all this for me is that now I actually have to make a real decision about whether or not to have another c-section or to try for a VBAC. Part of me almost hoped that I would have pre-eclampsia again because it would make the decision a lot easier - cesarian for sure. Now I just don't know, it is all so confusing and there are pros & cons either way. Even though a c-section sometimes sounds nice because its all planned out & predictable, I HATE getting cut open while concious. I actually asked the doctor if they could put me under when I found out I had to have one with Saben because mentally it was my worst nightmare. I can't even watch other people chop things with knives or shave with razor blades and I used to pass out when I had shots. But labor is no picnic either and Saben was big - 9lbs 4oz - and that was being born a week early. AND the doctor keeps telling me your 2nd child is usually bigger.

Right now I think I may just keep the c-section scheduled a few days before my due date but go ahead with a VBAC if I go into spontaneous labor before that.

I think I've been so obsessed with putting in the new garden in our backyard that the time has just flown by. And everytime I get a cute little girl outfit I still feel shocked that its really happening. My official prediction is that she's going to arrive with dark hair - like the women on Kyle's side of the family. I'm not sure why I think that, maybe just trying to not get my hopes up for a redhead. My redhaired uncle had 3 non-redheads and neither of my parents have red hair, so its a weird thing.

The other day I was carrying saben on my shoulders (at a plant nursery of course) and realized that between my pregnancy weight and him, my legs had an added 60 pounds to support. Crazy, but I guess women do that sort of thing all the time.

And lastly, for the record, we still have no idea what we are going to name her. Ok, well maybe a few ideas, but nothing's decided. Its been so much harder this time, for some reason we just knew & agreed on Saben before he was even conceived, but we never really had a girl name we both loved. We like a few of them, but none have just seemed to be perfect. Maybe that's just the way it goes in real life.

New Recipes

I just added a bunch of spring/summer recipes to my recipe blog, so go take a look.

Spring Cleaning

"There are few rites of spring more satisfying than the annual clean."
~Martha Stewart

Oh Martha. And seriously? Pink rooms? The May 2007 cover, in case you missed it features a room with pink walls, pink trim, pink fireplace mantle, pink mirror and a pink chair all in the exact same shade. I just don't think painting and entire room pink is going to do it for me. Maybe I am getting old and behind in the trends, but ugh.

Between my new garden and 2nd trimester nesting instincts, I've been keeping very busy and even flirted with spring cleaning. However, the glowing colors of the spring garden have been more satisfying than the cleaning, probably because I didn't quite complete the 200 things to clean on Martha's list. The tops of my doors are indeed still dusty. But I did take a trip to the dump, scrubbed the stove, mopped the whole house and even cleaned/rebuilt our BBQ. I feel like I am exhausted every night, but its nice to be busy/energetic and I can't wait for my plant shopping trip this weekend in Seattle with Kelley.

Saben has been busy too, did I mention he took his temper tantrums to a whole new level exactly a week after he turned two? He threw a big one at a plant nursery and he was kicking and screaming as I held him and it actually made me laugh because it was so new and funny. The sales lady who was helping us didn't think it was quite as funny. He also loves to...

• Shout no and run away when he doesn't want to do something
• Carry keys, pennies, or something he's attached to that day everywhere with him.
• Say "Train coming down the track, clickety clack" every time he hears a train whistle (its from a book)
• Sing "ring around the rosie" and other songs. "ALL FALL DOWN!"
• Talk in his growly voice when he wants something (aka demon voice)
• Cry whenever anything is put away, even if he is done with it. Especially meal items he hasn't finished and has no intention of finishing.
• Sit at his new little table or in big chairs. We don't even bother trying to get him into highchairs anymore.
• Seeing his grownup friends, relatives and grandparents. If we tell him we're seeing someone in the evening, he talks about it all day and is in a great mood.
• His Daddy. Lately he's been very attached to Daddy time and had the best time ever spending the day with just daddy this last Saturday. When I finally got home & kyle wanted to leave, Saben cried and cried and cried till kyle gave up and stayed with us.
• His new haircut! Yes, we finally cut his hair for the first time ever last Tuesday night. It looked so different, it definitely took some getting used to, but I love it. He cried the whole time & I held his head still while Daddy cut it, but since he got a treat at the end he has started asking for haircuts all the time now.

I could go on and on, but its time to watch some Seinfeld and go to bed.

Recent Additions

Rheum palmatum v. tanguticum

Anemone Nemorosa 'Vestal'

Phlox Stolonifera 'pink ridge'

Chamaecyparis lawsoniana 'Duncanii'

Erigeron karvinskianus

Easter

We spent Easter weekend in Seattle visiting a few friends we hadn't seen in a long time. Saturday afternoon, we drove down and Kyle and I both got to do what we miss most about Seattle - Kyle went dirt jumping at Greenlake and I got to visit Swansons Nursery for inspiration and to find exciting unusual plants.

Saben got to watch his Daddy jump on his bike for one of the first times ever. He really preferred riding like this to watching, while mommy closed her eyes and daddy rode gently over all the jumps. We went to dinner and spent the night with our old neighbors then headed to our old church and got to see more friends and all their cute new babies. Finally it was off to my brother & sister in laws new house where they were hosting the family for Easter dinner.

Saben loved the easter egg hunt, especially since he was the only participant.

Prego at Easter

Then it was candy time....

...and sugar high time. This is the part where Saben spun around on his bum on the floor for a while, right before he shouted "come out" for about 30 minutes from his crib where he was supposed to be napping.

Todd & Betsy made a wonderful meal and we headed home stuffed with saben finally napping in the car.

An afternoon when Mommy was raging with creativity and managed to create these things that sort of resemble turtles.

"Pretty please? I'll give you this fabulous chalk if you'll just come over here and open these presents....It's so much fun!"

Finally lured him over and the kids pounced on the toys while mom keeps opening gifts.

Saben's 2nd Bday

Behind yet again...

Saben's birthday was a success, his favorite part was having everyone he knows all together. Its funny because I was worried about having such a big party with so many grownups, but I think he loved the attention and seeing all his grandparents, great grandparents, Aunts & Uncles, etc. Each time someone arrived he would give a delighted squeal and run to the door to open it for them. Very cute.

For games, I bought an $8 bubble machine at target, which we ran inside since it was pouring rain that day. Saben, Audrey & Linus loved it and the adults were amused as well. (After all, it does shoot "up to 10,000 bubbles in minutes!" and features "Turbo Bubble Technology")

Then we played a game my mom said we played at my 3rd birthday - find the peanuts. It was perfect for this age, we just laid peanuts (in the shell) all over the house and gave the kids bags to go find them. Sort of like easter egg hunt practice. I was so worried they weren't going to want to do it, but they all got to "work", looking more determined than playful, but seemed to enjoy the task. Saben did figure out how salty the shells were and managed to chew one whole before we caught it. And he loved trying to shell the peanuts.

Presents were completely overwhelming for him yet again, I ended up opening most of them, but he loved playing with everything like the tunnels/tent set from my parents, the wheelbarrow gardening set from Menards, the hardhat & beads from Audrey....I could list every gift but that might get a bit dull right? And of course Mommy loved all the cute new clothes.

My Dads mom came to visit from Texas for a few days before & after the party and we had a lot of fun catching up with her. Saben is still talking about "Great Grandma" all the time, especially since my mom's parents were also at the birthday party. Great Grandma Voelker also gave him a little book she wrote for Christmas about Bobo the penguin and its been one of his favorites lately. (Along with the Carrot Seed from Todd and Betsy. Actally I don't know the title, but that's what he calls it. And don't worry Shauna, the "Ant on Tracks" book was his favorite till he got all the new Bday books. Kyle's favorite is Gossie.)

Pictures coming soon!