Saturday, October 27, 2007

Annika regressed yet again in her sleep habits this week. Back to no napping. 3 hours trying to get her to GO TO SLEEP. Waking up after 10 minutes 3 times in a row. 11pm bedtimes & 2am wakings. (or 8pm bedtime & 10:00 pm wakings) Which is not bad unless your infant has been sleeping from at least 9pm to to 5am for 6 weeks. Its the sudden changes that really get you. You spend hours trying to figure out...WHY?? What did I do that suddenly changed everything?

She was doing so incredibly awesome last week, even napping better than ever before. I remember starting to feel like just maybe I was going to get a little bit of my life back. That was what made it especially hard, feeling like we were back at the beginning again after making so much progress.

When I write it down it doesn't seem so bad, but in the moment I get pretty frustrated. I look forward so much to naptimes & bedtimes and when neither one happens in the same day...for four days in a row....its disappointing to say the least.

I always feel so guilty complaining because I always think of others who have ridiculously difficult babies. The ones who wake every hour all night long, scream constantly or have some high maintenance illness. I have none of those things and seriously question maintaining my sanity if I did.

Yes, Annika has some definite tough tendencies between nursing issues & the sleep problems, but nothing outrageous. I decided this week though that I am done feeling guilty - it is a tough job sometimes and its ok to admit that as long as you don't lose perspective.

And I'm not sure why, but nothing makes me feel better than occasionally hearing another mom admit that it is or was tough for her too. That everyone's not all super moms who never get tired and cranky. So maybe this post will encourage someone else in the same way.


shawn said...

Nope, it's all of us! I never wanted to be one of those moms that couldn't wait til her kids went back to school in the fall or after Christmas. But today, I was wishing the weekend was over. They are driving me nuts! The small one who will not obey all day and the other two who have fought incessantly. Love them dearly, of course, just as you do. But man, it is a really hard job a lot of the time. Don't feel guilty, you are a wonderful mother.

Tiffany said...

Oh Kari. I so remember laying awake much of the night--between feedings--trying to figure out what I'd done "wrong" that day to keep Miss Sydney from napping and only adding to my sleep deprivation. Hang in there. You're doing great. Sydney is on a nap strike right now, so your words of frustration are speaking to this mama.