Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Advice

Here's what gets me. The only experienced people at parenting that I know are our parents, whom I love, respect and think did an awesome job of raising us.

But everything you read anywhere in mainstream child rearing psychology tells us to do it differently than they did it. Don't force kids to do things, just offer them carrot sticks and let them choose what to eat. Don't let your kids cry it out. Don't spank them, just use timeouts.

Its no wonder I worry all the time that we're screwing it up because all I can imagine is my daughter someday asking me "really? you never let me cry it out? everything I read tells me to let the kids cry it out". Because all the instructions will probably be opposite by the time she has kids.

(this has nothing to do with the actual methods we have chosen to use for parenting, I'm just pointing out the dissidence)

2 comments:

D said...

I have another one for you! You know how they tell us to only let our kids sleep on their backs? And how not so many years ago the hottest thing on the market was a sidesleeper foam thing to hold the baby up on it's side? And how when we were babies it was on their stomach?
Well, now (last year) I was told by a friend who is a pharmacy tech, and he learned with their new baby that now they can sleep any which way they sleep best, because SIDS has been linked to a less developed pituitary gland (or one of the glands anyway). I have yet to hear this from anyone else....Did you hear it with Annika from the doctors?
And what about all those parents who swear that their baby died not from SIDS but from their vaccinations?
I end up praying for wisdom and peace so much every day-- otherwise, how are we supposed to know who to trust? He is faithful to give me what I need to make it through the day, Thank you GOD!!!

KV said...

Bear in mind that no researcher ever achieved fame and fortune by concluding that the old ways are working just fine, thank you. They succeed only by publishing new theories, new approaches, new recipes - which don't even have to be effective, just marketable (think "pineapple diet").

This, in turn, creates a niche for the folks who stand on the sidelines, calling out "what, are you crazy?" This is also a legitimate, useful role. In fact, it's how Dr. Dobson first developed his following, and why so many in your parent's generation still appreciate him, in spite of his politics.

The point is, nobody - not even a PhD - is is right all the time, which means we're constantly trying to ferret out the hidden biases and motivations.

I like the quote that says "extraordinary claims always require extraordinary proof".