A couple cheerful holiday rants that have been on my mind lately and will (hopefully) amuse you this last week before Christmas...
(well they may amuse you if you're a stay at home mom who's weekly highlights include baking cookies & reading Martha Stewart magazines)
1) Baking. I made a bunch of cookies this weekend and was befuddled that every single recipe calls for room temperature butter. Does ANYONE really use room temperature butter? Do they wake up in the morning and think "oh, maybe I should pull some butter out of the fridge so that its ready for cookies this afternoon"? Cookbook authors must be aware that 99.9% of us stick the dumb thing in the microwave and hopefully pull it out before it makes a buttery mess. Why do they insist on writing "room temperature"? It would be so much more helpful if they gave us the exact seconds to nuke the thing to make it close to room temperature.
2) Martha. Every time I start to fall back in love with Martha Stewart, she does something to annoy me. This year's special "make your own gifts" magazine looked beautiful and awesome. Unfortunately the store ran out before I bought one, so I settled for her monthly magazine instead. I was chugging along, pleased as punch, until I came upon the article "Holiday Color Schemes". Actually it was the photos that did me in, particularly the "Citrus Christmas".
"Citrus Christmas" featured a photo of Christmas morning at some poor family's house where every single bleecarkin item was color coordinated. Lemon, orange and lime stockings, matching tree, carefully orchestrated citrusy present wrappings.... I could almost handle it. But the fact that the jubilant tots diving for their gifts were wearing matching citrus toned pajamas did me in. As if they were just one more accessory that needed to be coordinated.
All I could think of was some crazy psycho mom yelling at her kids "what are you doing wearing those red pajamas! You know we are citrus toned this year, what are you thinking!!!! You're not opening a single present until you go put on the lime green ones I bought you!" Then the lemon yellow couch started to peeve me as well..... Who has a couch that matches their christmas decorations?
Oh well, I'm sure I'll forget in a month or two and be back for more.