How to clean a pot

Have you ever burned something in a pot and then had black gunk inside that you just can't get rid of? Yes, you have soaked it, scrubbed it, put it through the dishwasher. But its still there. I have discovered the secret to getting rid of it! Read on for my foolproof method.

1. On a bright sunny...er... sweltering summer day, go down to your local u-pick berry farm & pick about 11 pounds of perfectly ripe, juicy strawberries while your son alternately screams or is distracted by coating himself head to toe in berry juice & dirt. Pray he doesn't vomit on the way home from eating about a pound of dirty strawberries.

3. Congratulate yourself for only paying $1 a pound for the berries. Remember that berries at Haggen are only $1.50 a pound this week. So you saved.... $5.50 And it took you 2 hours of misery...er....work to save $5.50 Congratulate yourself that your berries are at the peak of ripeness, bursting with strawberry goodness, unlike those californian berries at Haggens.

4. Bring berries home & spend an hour or two washing, hulling & freezing them. Be sure to leave a few in a bag on your counter overnight so that they can stain your countertop.

5. On a rainy day, pull some berries out of the freezer to make jam. Read the Sure Jell instructions carefully and decide you'll go through the whole boiling the jars for hours process so that you don't accidentally poison your family.

5. Crush the berries in a saucepan and procede to make jam. Now, here is the miraculous part! As your succulent, bursting with goodness berries reach a full boil, you will notice that the black gunk has started to come off your pot! It is now floating in your bubbling berries!

6. Shrug your shoulders & finish with the jam already. Sit back on the couch and listen to the rain and the satisfying popping of the lids as they seal up your hard work & pot gunk, all neatly encased in Strawberry Jam. (will keep for one year if stored properly)